I recently saw a meme that had a photo of Thundercats, classic 80’s cartoon, saying “if you remember this show, you’re likely in perimenopause.”

 

A. Hurtful

B. Huh, interesting

 

I remember two things about that cartoon: 

 

A. Cheetara, ‘girl’ character, hot, how did I not realize that I was bi until waaaaaay later

B. I wanted to look like Lion-O, ‘boy’ character

 

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s very much ok. What I’m saying is that I’m a human in perimenopause, and I don’t fully identify myself as a cisgender woman. Because of this, an array of feelings come up when trying to navigate the world of perimenopause/menopause.

 

If you’re here, you likely have some idea of what I’m sharing. (No offense to my doctor and her office), but why are we calling physical exams “well-woman exams.” I digress. For us queer folks in perimenopause/menopause, it can feel overwhelmingly isolating. And I completely get it.

 

Perimenopause/menopause is a challenging time in any cis person’s life due to bodily changes, feeling a sense of confusion over who we are in this time of change, feeling isolated, among other experiences and feelings. Being in perimenopause/menopause as a queer person, no matter our identity specifically, brings these aforementioned changes and additional challenges, such as trauma, specifically around gender, including trauma from our years in puberty, (i.e. body not matching our gender identity), gender and body dysphoria, gendered language around perimenopause/menopause, doctors not knowing and understanding the queer experience(s), feeling immensely isolated, and confusion, anger, rage, and resentment toward these parts that we may have never wanted, among other experiences and feelings. (Not all queer folks feel this way, and that’s very much ok).

 

To gain more information and knowledge about perimenopause/menopause, including possible symptoms, see here. 

 

If you’re a person assigned female at birth, you will absolutely experience symptoms of perimenopause/menopause. This includes trans folks, including trans women and trans men. However, trans women will only have symptoms, whereas trans men will experience menopause, i.e. the cessation of cycles, and it’s subsequent symptoms due to having an ovarian system and uterus, (even on testosterone therapy). For trans women, estrogen fluctuations can occur if a dose is accidentally skipped or forgotten, which can cause some symptoms. Additionally, if ending HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for a specific reason, say a surgical procedure or lack of access to hormones, some menopausal-type symptoms can occur, such as hot flashes. For trans men, menopause can happen in three ways: when folks go through testosterone therapy, after ovaries are surgically removed, and/or over time, with aging. Testosterone therapy decreases estrogen levels, which can mimic some menopause symptoms, including loss of cycle, hot flashes, and/or hair thinning. It may also lead to dryness, pain, discomfort, and increased infections, (UTI’s specifically), of the front hole. Nonbinary folks assigned female at birth will also go through the perimenopause/menopause transition. The type of transition is different for folks using testosterone therapy as noted above. 

 

But this is what I want you to know. You don’t have to go through it alone. I’m here to help support you through this transition. I am available for individual therapy and/or group therapy for queer folks going through the perimenopause/menopause transition. Please see more information about my group here.